He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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