everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
do herpes really smell.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
