you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
