East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Green mimosas i think yes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
