I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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