that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
