OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
