Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
