Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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