Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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