I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
