yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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