I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
