My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
