Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
