One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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