I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
