so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
