THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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