i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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