chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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