Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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