all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
