you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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