So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
