She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
