I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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