Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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