I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
