The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
