Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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