Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
