My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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