Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
