Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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