have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
