Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize