Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
