Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize