I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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