On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
