first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i think i just lost a toe
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
