I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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