That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
