I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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