I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
