I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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