I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
