dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
