# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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