We got so high we made milksteak
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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