he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
