At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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