shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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