Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
