You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
