why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
