I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she smelled like a LAN party
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize