census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
