I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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